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Title: "Always"
Author: Dana Doggett
Date: June 15, 2011
Distribution: Serenity of X, Always On Your Side. All others please

Rating: PG
Category: Follmer/Reyes, drabble, alternating Reyes POV and Follmer POV
Timeline: "Providence" and "Provenance"
Word Count: 566
Beta: Little Albatross

Summary: Monica and Brad think about the hug they shared in the
hospital chapel.

Author's Note: I don't like using character last names when I write.
This is a response to the Awareness Month 2011 FRR
Providence/Provenance Drabble Challenge at Serenity of X (details of
the challenge are provided after the end of the story).

Disclaimer: I do not own "The X-Files", Monica Reyes or Brad Follmer.
They belong to 20th Century Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen
Productions. They are used here without permission for entertainment
purposes only.


I can feel it. Brad wants to take my side in everything that has
happened. He wants to believe, but is afraid to break down the walls he
has built up around himself. He wants to show me that he is still
someone that I can trust, someone I can open up to. I told him that I
was lost when he found me in the hospital chapel...

... and I told her that seeing her in a chapel was too traditional for
her. She was lost and searching for answers, trying to find her way,
and all I could do, all I wanted to do was hug her. Feeling my arms
around her was comforting for me, but was it also for her? I hadn't
realized how much I missed her these past three years...

... I could have stayed in his arms forever, but I had to pull away. He
can't know how much I still care for him. He must wonder why I left New
York without as much as a word to him. I love him, I always will, but
there are secrets he harbours that prevent us from fully committing to
each other. I wish he'd let me in, disclose everything, but I suspect
it would be at great risk to himself and his career...

... She pulled away from my embrace and I saw in her eyes the love she
still has for me. The way she looked at me was the way she used to look
at me before I'd carry her off to my bed. I wish things were different.
I wish I hadn't made mistakes. Surely she left me because she suspected
the wrong I have done, that I still do. I would do anything to go back
to 1997 and refuse Nicholas Regali. Anything...

... I'd do anything to erase what I saw that night in New York at
Carlos, to never have seen Brad accept money, to carry on blissfully
unsuspecting of him. I long for something more, but I force myself to
push him away, all the while foolishly trying to convince myself that
John could love me, but he can't and he won't. I will always be the one
persona who failed to solve his son's murder. John and I have discussed
this before and he said he cares for me, but every time he sees me he
is reminded of that dark time in his life. His words break my heart,
but I don't blame him for feeling this way...

... It makes my stomach churn, and makes me childishly jealous, but if
I can't be with Monica, then I can and I will accept that now she loves
John Doggett. He's a good man, a great man. He's the exact opposite of
me. He's by the books, he's loyal, and he seems to care more about
others than he cares about himself. However if Monica does end up
involved with Agent Doggett I will resent him...

... John Doggett is a good man, and I hate that my attempt to fall in
love with him has made Brad dislike him. I wish I knew how to act
around Brad so that he would understand that I love him...

... I wish to God that Monica knew that no matter what happens that I
love her, and that I always will...




Providence/Provenance Follmer/Reyes Drabble Challenge

Due: Thursday, June 9th
Submit to: You can post your drabble in this thread (or email to:

Word Count Requirements: 500 words or less

In this FRR Drabble Challenge, address the confused feelings of Monica
Reyes - she seems to be becoming drawn between wanting to work things
out with Brad, and allowing herself to care more about her partner,
John Doggett. Because this is FRR focused, lean towards the FRR.
Explore ideas about FRR that are new to you (you can use the episode
discussion with other members to help inspire you), if you can try to
present something new and unique to their relationship that may not
have been thought of before.

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